Don’t Be a “Karen” (At Work or Anywhere Else)
There are days I truly dislike my name.
There are other days—most of them, actually—when I embrace it fully.
Hi, I’m Karen. The nice one.
Hi, I’m Karen—and no, I will not be asking for your manager today.
That little bit of humor almost always changes the tone of the interaction. Let’s be honest—how many times have you answered a client or customer call thinking, “Oh boy… what fresh chaos is about to land on me?” When we assume the worst, we show up tense, guarded, and less human.
So here’s my professional advice: stop it.
Not everyone is a “Karen.”
A quick note on the meme
The “Karen” meme has been around longer than many people realize, but it exploded into the mainstream during the pandemic, following several high-profile public incidents. Since then, the name has become cultural shorthand—not for a person, but for a pattern of behavior.
What people really mean by “Karen”
Today, “Karen” is commonly used to describe behavior rooted in:
- Entitlement
- Misuse of authority or escalation
- Selective rule enforcement
- A demand for compliance rather than understanding context
It’s not about a name, age, or haircut (though I will admit—this is why I’ll never get a bob 😄).
Is the meme sexist or unfair? Reasonable people disagree. What I do know is this: when I say “I’m the nice one,” almost everyone instantly understands what I mean—and often responds with visible relief. I once even had a pizza delivery labeled “Karen – The Nice One.”
Message received.
When you encounter “Karen” behavior as a service professional
Focus on de-escalation, not engagement:
- Don’t feed it.
Stay calm. Move the conversation to a private space if possible. - Be the hero—if appropriate.
Listen, acknowledge the concern, and express empathy.
Empathy is not sympathy. Don’t validate bad behavior. - Let it go when it’s over.
One difficult interaction should not outweigh the many positive ones you have every day. - Don’t take it personally.
The frustration is rarely about you. It’s about a system, a rule, or a loss of control. - Don’t let one moment define your day.
This was a moment—not the whole story.
“Karen” behavior at work (for managers & HR)
We never name-call at work—but we absolutely manage behaviors.
Common workplace patterns include:
- Frequent escalation to HR with little self-awareness
- Extensive documentation about others, none about themselves
- Minor issues that quickly become “major problems”
- Control-seeking without positional authority
- A love of rules…for everyone else
Manager reminder:
- Be careful not to accidentally reward this behavior.
- Apply rules consistently.
- Don’t fast-track complaints rooted in emotion alone.
- If an issue impacts the whole team, address it broadly.
- If it doesn’t impact the employee’s role, ask directly:
“Help me understand how this affects your ability to do your job.”
When emotional displays occur:
- Remove the conversation from public spaces
- Set expectations for calm, professional discussion
- Make it clear that yelling, threats, or theatrics won’t drive outcome
Business owners: culture shows up in the behaviors you tolerate.
If escalation, entitlement, or emotional outbursts keep recurring, that’s a leadership signal—not a personality problem. Clear expectations and consistent follow-through fix this faster than most owners expect.